11 April 2013

Don't Worry, It Will Only Hurt A Lot!

My shoulders are sore, my mouth taste like sand, eye's dilated to the size of dinner plates and my level of humiliation is through the roof. No, I haven't just gotten back from spring break in Florida, I've been to the doctors... and the dentist... the eye doctor... and because of my infinite brilliance of scheduling, all in the same day!

I'm about to travel abroad so of course I want to use every bit of my insurances (fine, my parent's insurance) to make sure I am in tip top shape... and after my little experience I think I should share the correct things to do when traveling abroad for an extended period of time to sidestep most of the stupid mistakes I made... there weren't too many... alright, they were big mistakes but there weren't a lot of them so they even out... shut it and just keep reading!

First and foremost, go right to the travel medicine clinic. I know, it seems like the last thing you want to do but in order to avoid the confusion, the fusing, the annoyed nurses staring at you at the doctor's office, it should be first on your list and moment your ready to go. These people deal with travelers every single day and know from the get-go that 99% of them have no idea what to do. They have little pamphlets on everything you can want and from those times I worked at a check-in desk in high school, I guarantee they've read them all at least seven times each!

Make sure to bring a record of your vaccinations along with a list of all your allergies, aliments and oddities (stop judging me, I didn't have that many!)

Second tip, vacationing abroad and living abroad are two different things. You have to tell them that because living abroad for years against two weeks means those shots your gonna get become a lot bigger and a lot more numerous. Now don't worry, its not too much. First thing they ask you when you call for an appointment is where your headed and be specific with countries! Saying you may travel around south-east Asia to a travel clinic doctor is like saying "Oh, I'm going to roll in raw sewage in ever country I go to!" Don't lie, don't say its a possibility or you think maybe. You think your going to Thailand  Malaysia  Japan, China... the works... you think you could be there any time for any reason in the next three years, you tell them. Because of that my simple shot for Hepatitis-A grew to include a shot for Typhoid Fever, another shot for Yellow Fever, another for Tetanus and to top it off, four test tubes of blood drawn to make sure you have the appropriate antibodies from childhood vaccinations. Check the CDC website on travel's information for more details.

Now these places can be expensive and will cost around $250 and more (your gonna lose $80 just for coming in!)... but a quick call to your insurance company can lead you to the only hospital in 100-miles that will take your worn and bent plastic insurance card! A massive bill then becomes a $30 copay.

The reason you need to go to the travel clinic first is because when you leave they hand you a nice big folder of information on your destinations, along with prescriptions for a number of terrible things (seriously, Malaria and travel's diarrhea CAN KILL, you definitely don't want to locked up at a hospital with that!). Inside that folder is a folded yellow card, on which every one of your doctors has to sign-off on, detailing your immunizations, your medications, even what your eye sight is.

This little card is now your best friend to accompany that folder you've been building with your social security card and passport. You know the one you'll have to be prepared to whip out any time you travel farther than 50-feet from you home. As you head off to your other doctor's appointment, in my case a cleaning at the dentist (No cavities! Suck it floss, I never use you!) and a psychical (seriously an EKG-test is freaking cold!) they are going to sign this little paper, confirming that your are both sane, healthy and seriously medicated. Also because they are going to ask you what medications you are on, you can hand them over the nice list of very exotic and very expensive drugs the travel clinic put you on so their own cheapy, run of the mill crap drugs don't counteract it or make you ill!

Once your done, your all set to go... maybe leave a few days to recover since those damn Tetanus shots really do make the muscles ache!

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